We, girls, talk about busted up hearts. We sing songs about loneliness and wasted love. I remember the first time my heart was fractured down the center. I was a teenager and he promised to always be there for me but a few weeks later he refused to speak to me. My heart felt all kinds of numbing pain and grief as I sat feeling helpless to bring life to what was dying. Opening my eyes in the morning became a victory. Letting the world spin without screaming for it to stop brought on pain so severe it was hard to breathe. Never had I felt so abandoned and betrayed. Never had my heart ached with such fierceness, a fierceness that forever changed the rhythm of its own beat.
No, he never came back. He didn't pick up all the shattered pieces and glue them back together one by one. It didn't matter how much I cried or prayed; what had ended was meant to be forever gone. Yes, something inside of me died but something else was born. While my heart kept beating it found a new rhythm, one that beats today to share the hope I've found with other girls who've been broken in their most tender places.
You, see there is a crazy thing about broken hearts, they keep beating. There is this song that talks about a naïve heart. I don't want that to be me. I want to love bravely; I want to care boldly; I want to give graciously. Broken hearts don't have to heal into fear filled and insecure ridden masses of beating memories. Broken hearts can heal into braver, stronger, and bolder rhythms of grace. I know it hurts. I know he took your love and made light of it but Dear Girl, what he does is not who you are.
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